Thursday 31 October 2019

A trip to the Beach - Fall 2019

Our hero had his orders and in no uncertain terms was the next trip to be anything but a "beach vacation". The boss had been firm and unambiguous in this regard. So some time ago, he started looking at beaches and how to get to them.

"How about a visit to a nice beach that might soon be inundated by the rising sea levels, it may be gone soon? The ice caps are melting and we should see it before its gone." Gym blurted out one day.

"OK, get it done." the boss replied.

As management approval had been granted, Gym started to look at ways to get to the Maldives and it's beaches.

Lately in their travels to the various beaches in the Indian Ocean, Gym and his lovely wife have flown to Europe and then touched down in Dubai, before flying the final leg to their destination. This is how they got to the Seychelles and Mauritius in recent years. But because the Maldives is a bit further east, our intrepid couple wanted to consider flying west instead of east. The Maldives turns out to be exactly12 hours difference in either direction from home base, so flying west actually may be better. As it turns out, if you fly via Vancouver, you can take AC25  to Shanghai and then connect onto China Eastern, which will take you to Male, Maldives. And if you are going to get a Chinese Visa to make that Shanghai connection, why not spend a few days in Shanghai to search for the perfect pork dumpling? Ya, Gym and Mrs. Gym could soak up some orientalness and then catch that China Eastern plane to Male, to fufill the directive to get some beach time. He needed approval for the Chinese caper.

The boss likes pork dumplings and after being shown a picture of the Pudong skyline at night, she started to get excited about this add-on destination. Gym booked it! But then he started thinking he had made a mistake because of the troubles in Hong Kong and the lengthy looking Chinese Visa application. Eventually he overcame his fears and went about filling out the visa form.

China is different It is  a communist country full of crazy-rich entrepreneurs. But its the communist part that requires an onerous visa process. You have to fill out a hundred-page application and take it with you to the Chinese Visa Office to defend your responses to all the questions. Next, you need to give them a picture of yourself which has to be taken to an exacting standard.  Then you have to give ten finger prints, and hand over a lock of hair and a piece of your toenail. Following that they take a picture of you so that they can compare the picture they got you to bring with their picture and the live version of you. Once the likeness question has been concluded, they can watch from a camera above your head while you type in the code of your debit card to pay the $350 for the application. This camera is probably being viewed by some Chinese official that compiles a folder of information that includes your passport,  the various likenesses provided by the applicant and the debit card information. Pretty scary, right? Then finally, on the way out to the exit, you pay the 25 cents for each piece of paper you copied on their copier and you are free to go. Eventually, after a few days, you get a Chinese visa affixed to your Canadian passport that you can pick up in the same office.

Author's Note: Having written the above, Gym will likely need one of his fans to set up a GoFundMe page for when he gets thrown in a Chinese jail. Gym hopes that they wait to jail him after he has had a chance to eat some pork dumplings and see Shanghai a little bit. Please be generous in your support of this future cause, as paying a lawyer to lobby Trudeau will be expensive.

Our veteran travelers will leave on November 1, 2019 (tomorrow) and may send an update from the Vancouver airport before they hop on the Shanghai Express.

This is what it looks like in Calgary. The snow is already a factor. Our intrepid couple will get away from the cold stuff for a couple of weeks.

Stay tuned!



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